Many times I am asked "How can I find a partner?" or "Where can I find a partner?" or "Will there be someone for me to dance with, if I go to that dance?" Believe it or not, it's not always women asking me these questions!

There is no pat answer for any of these questions; but I can tell you, you won't find a partner sitting at home waiting for a phone call or only dancing at your home club. You have to get out there and "NETWORK".

Networking is not a so new "buzzword" in the business world. The Webster Dictionary's definition is: the exchange of information and services among individuals, groups or institutions: specifically, the cultivation of productive relationships for employment or business. Now you're probably asking "how do you take this and apply it to square dancing?" It works in very much the same manner as it does in the business world; you get out there and talk to people, meet people, make sure people know your name and that you are a dancer and available for dancing.

First, always have business (or social) cards with you that have at least your name, phone number, and email address (if you have one). These come in very handy if you should meet a partner; just give him/her a card and say something like "if you ever need a dance partner, I hope you'll consider asking me." Perhaps he/she will give you a card in return.

Always go to the dances whether you know if you are going to dance or not. You never know if there will be someone there who is only in town for a week; or in the area on vacation or business for two or three weeks; or maybe someone has just moved into the area. If you miss just that one night when they showed up; they left with my contact information; and when they are back in the area, they call me to meet them at a dance.

When you arrive at a dance, don't sit down and stay there waiting for someone to come to you to ask for a dance. If it's your first time to visit the club, let them know at the door that you are solo and if anyone needs a partner. I recommend that if you don't know if the club welcomes solos, that you call ahead to find out before you go. Unfortunately, there are still some clubs around that do not welcome unattached singles at their dances! If you have a solo ribbon or badge, wear it to the dance so the other dancers can easily identify you as someone needing a partner. I recommend standing by the door so you can observe who is arriving and if a solo arrives looking for a partner, the people at the desk can find you easier.

If you are at a club dance where you know everyone, be sure to mingle and talk to all of them. These couples have to be reminded that there is a single in the hall that needs a partner and if you sit in a corner and don't move around the room, they won't notice you're there!

Don't shy away from attending conventions and weekend festivals! Most, if not all, of them have solo sections; take advantage of them. How else will you find the other singles looking for partners in a place with several hundred or thousand dancers? Some conventions have a Single Room, a Singles Get Acquainted Dance, a Singles Host Hotel, or even Singles After-Parties. Take advantage of these too; you'll get to meet a lot of the other singles.

Several States have their own singles associations with an annual weekend and there is a national singles organization with an annual convention (Dance-A-Rama) on Labor Day weekend which is held in a different location every year. These are always fun weekends; you can plan them around your vacations and tour the area while you are there. There are tours scheduled in conjunction with the Dance-A-Rama so you can see some really interesting things when you attend these dances.

The national organization, "Single Square Dancers USA", has a directory of all the singles friendly clubs in the U.S., promotes a website to find partners (dancepartner.com), has an electronic newsletter (SSDUSAgram) which lists a large number of the singles dances around the country and has someone who helps link roommates for conventions and festivals.

It also helps to participate in all of the singles square dance activities to assist in the NETWORKING. I have danced single for most of the past 25+ years and it took me some time to build a network, but I can safely say there are very few dances in Florida that I go to now that I don't know somebody. In fact at the last state convention, my partner asked me if there was anyone there that I didn't know.

It's scary to go to that first festival or convention, but once you go that first time it becomes easier and easier because you meet more people each time. Even if you don't learn everyone's name right away, you'll start recognizing faces and seeing them at other dances.

In order to be successful in building your network, you have to remember to always be friendly, maintain your dance skills (no one wants to dance with a bad dancer), don't be pushy, and don't try to dominate a partner. We're all in the same boat so let's help each other out and make sure everyone gets a chance to dance.

It takes time to build a network, so what are you waiting for? Get out there and get started!

(Reprinted from American Square Dance, December 2009 issue